Monday, June 28, 2010

A Letter to Myself (a/k/a "The BiPolar Memorandum")

Dear Princess Daughter (clearly I am not yet the  Queen Momma),

     I'm writing this letter to you, umm, me, Us?  from some time in the future...not so that you might change things because I/you/we are a very happy somewhat psychotic mother and trophy wife now and have become the person we are today because of the bumpy path we have traveled and the lucky decisions we have made.

      I'm writing simply to tell you to be patient, enjoy every day, cherish every moment. You made your bed now sleep in it!
     Your life is going to be wonderful and, while I don't want to scare you ruin the surprise, I will give you a little advice, some warnings suggestions:

     Family will always be important to you so spend more time with them, I can't stress this enough (pun intended);

     Don't feel the need to follow ALL the trends, Earth Shoes, Huckapoo shirts, hot pants, disco   .. because they don't last and they NEVER looked good ** shaking head **;

     Don't waste a single tear (or a perfectly good Alabama Slammer) over a cheating boyfriend and his daily trash of choice me, neither of them are worth it!;

     Don't let your prom date dictate the color of your dress because he thinks the light blue tuxedo compliments his eyes!;
     While peanut M&Ms are understandably your snack of choice and thankfully melt in your mouth and not on your white pants in your hands, it isn't necessary to eat so many, so often, they will be around for a loooooong time!;

     Do NOT go away to school because you will regret it (both days!);

     In December of 1982, a friend will introduce you to a guy......don't try to fight it because you WILL fall in love and you will live happily ever after

     Despite you and your Prince Charming both being twins, I will put your mind at ease and say that your pregnancies will be singles (sigh of relief)  first a girl, and then a boy (trust me no one was happier than me, er, us!)

     Do not stress over their  boo-boos, missed homeworks, messy rooms or seemingly never-ending "stages" .... You will all survive them, I promise, and they will both grow up to be awesome young adults that make you very proud most of the time!   

Less importantly, but noteworthy nonetheless:  

     DO go back to get that pair of brown leather gladiator sandals because, even though you eventually come to this conclusion on your own, by that time they don't have them in our size because that biotch that pushed in front of you is wearing them to a party!;
      Choose the Ash Blonde, instead of  the Golden Strawberry Blonde and save yourself from having to "correct it" (fail);

      Order the fish instead of the pasta;

       Negotiate the salary before accepting the job;

       Listen to the GPS despite the advice of your husband; 

      Skip that last glass of wine and the guacamole at our birthday party (this one's negotiable but you have to at least promise to remove the toilet paper from your shoe when you leave the bathroom); 

      And, for gods sake, don't walk fall down that flight of stairs in your new (slippery) sandals!

      I'm not going to lie.  You will have more than your fair share of sadness and heartache, some of which will never heal, but there will also be boundless joy and incomprehensible happiness to help you through it. 

      It's all going to work out superbly.  After all, you've got me rooting for you (better keep a lot of  wine on hand just in case!)

Yours in Spirit (literally), 
                 Queen Momma, your future self! XO

PS .... I'm relatively confident that sharing this little tidbit will neither disrupt the hands of time, nor halt the gears of motion .... The Answer to #45 on the 10th grade Math Regents is 42.13  .... that was a silly mistake and you so deserved the 95% !


  1. This is so very clever. I read a book on future letters to selves, compiled by Cokie Roberts.

    It was brilliant, like this post.
    Thank you.

  2. hahaa that was great! I love the insight that you provide :) Great post!

  3. Love the insight and the tip about the husband vs the GPS! SOO true.

  4. This is cute!! Btw, I've got something for you over at my place. See you there!

  5. Drama Mama, I am flattered! thank you! Now, being the somewhat newbie that I am, I have to figure out what to do with it! lol xo

  6. Love it! Especially the tip on the math test :) I could have used that back then!

  7. i loved this!! what a clever idea!!!

  8. Oh my gosh, yours is one of my absolute favorites!!! the tips are the best :)

  9. You are so clever & witty.
    Glad I hopped by.


  10. Thank you everyone! glad you stopped by too!! ;)