Thursday, June 10, 2010

Can Chihuahas swim ??

My daughter, DDA, has a fish tank....a 100 gal, 500 lb.  fish tank...and therein lies my reason for this therapy session subject of blog.......

It started out simple, a manageable, conservative 20 gal. tank with a few pleasant looking fish, a floor of  multi-colored gravel and some exotic plants strategically placed for protection.  Protection? it's not the friggin ocean!   What the hell do they need protection from?  We'll get back to that.....

For those of you who have never had a fish tank, despite appearances, it requires a lot more work than just sprinkling a pinch of food on top and watching the pump bubble (bloop, bloop, bloop!) ... You see, I knew this because my brothers had a tank when we were growing up and, as mother's do, I tried to save DDA from making the same mistake but, as children do, she rolled her eyes and insisted she'd be fine!

And, to my surprise as expected, she was fine!  She maintained the tank beautifully.  In fact I briefly  considered filling her room with water on one of my less rational, desperate days, reasoning that it might then remain clean as well.  I just couldn't figure out the whole mechanics behind making that work :/   How could you open the door? Wouldn't everything be wet?  Ugh, the details can kill ya.

But, as my daughter tends to do, she got carried away.  You know "less is more"?  not so with DDA.  Enter the friggin ocean!  My daughter is 19 and, after all, she was successfully caring for the 20 gal. tank so, when she approached Prince Charming and I regarding the "unbelievable deal" she found on a 'larger' tank, we hesitantly agreed and after the lecture of responsibility and maturity that she graciously ignored endured, she set off to purchase the friggin ocean tank.

I have to admit, after the initial shock when I saw the enormity of it, and after administering first aid to my husband and son who, thankfully, didn't have hernias from carrying the damn thing up one and a half flights of stairs, I found it rather appealing.  Granted, it stretched across 2 of DDAs dressers (of which she has 4, again "less is more", not her thing) and required several hours worth of set up, but when it was done, it was breathtaking, extraordinary, LOUD!  Holy good-night!  You see, bigger tank requires bigger pump, let's out bigger noise!  That soothing bloop, bloop, bloop had been replaced by an irritating, non-stop SLOSH! SLOSH! SLOSH!  (Still not sure if it's more annoying than Prince Charming's snoring or not, jury's out.)
Well, long story short, for a while things were wonderful.  DDA and the fish all seemed to be very content with their arrangement.  Even I was happy once the door was closed to her bedroom hiding the mess and muffling the noise...... but, as all good things must eventually end, it did.  With a scream.   And some tears.    Requiring a net, a wet arm, and several visits to the bathroom  .......FLUSH........FLUSH........FLUSH......and then there was one!  Oops....scratch that! .... FLUSH!
For whatever reason, the fish began to perish.... There are several theories floating around (pun intended) .... 1) A recent addition to the tank carried a disease; 2) The pump which had been turned off for a short while during an electrical outage caused "something to happen" (how's that for a scientific explanation?); 3) the fact that we have three cats whom often sit in front of  and gaze at the tank, while licking their chops, perhaps caused the fish a little stress, hmmmm, maybe?   or,  my personal favorite: 4)  the fish took their own lives to escape the wrath of whatever it was that clearly attacked and destroyed  DDA's room before it could get to them!

We may never know the cause for sure, but this was devastating enough for DDA that she has ultimately decided to empty, clean and retire the fish tank, at least for the time being (Allelujah!).  I considered this a very mature, responsible decision.....
♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪  (Phone Ringing)    "Mom, it's DDA, we're at the pet store....they have this adorable little Chihuaha, he's sooooo smalll....he'd fit in the fish tank!! ..... without the water of course!...."


  1. Bahahahahahaha! You should link this up in Crazy Town as a Friday Funny, personal stories are definitely allowed (& encouraged!), I'd say this qualifies! I feel your pain, but sadly we keep losing cats & killing piggies....piggie number 3 arrived at X-mas, he's hanging in there so far!! And we're down to 2 cats...both of them male...our 2 feamles "ran away" within mnths of eachother, I'm certain they thought of it as escaping... :-D

  2. I'm flattered but not very familiar with Crazy Town...will check it out though!!

  3. of course I'm familiar with Crazy Town, it's one of my fav's the linking part I was referring to!

  4. Oh, wow, this brought back memories. Luckily I stuck with the 20-gallon tank, and my fish fared just as badly. I love your self-edits!


  5. This is hilarious! We had a fish tank for years, which I got for my daughter who had trouble sleeping. I thought looking at it would be restful for her. It wasn't until she was an adult (we had the tank in her room for 10 years) that she told me that she is TERRIFIED of fish, and had to take a special class for fish fearers before she could go snorkeling with her fiance! molly

  6. Thanks! Nice to know I'm not alone in my chaos!!

  7. The Dh has two fish tanks. A 55 and 20 one. They are more work than kids. He asks me every night, "did you feed the fish"? and every night I say "NO- I fed you,your children, two birds, three cats and two dogs - YOU can feed the fish"

  8. touche!! We have since retired the 100 gal one ::giddily jumping up and down!::

  9. We had a lovely large fish tank for quite a while several years ago. And then one day, my younger daughter poured orange juice into the tank. For no good reason . . . just to see what would happen.

    What happened was that all the expensive and beautiful fish died quickly, and Mommy got really annoyed and then sad and then slightly depressed. And then Mommy went to bed early.

    And in the morning?

    The thought of cleaning and starting all over?

    Too overwhelming.

    Garage sale for that tank. I really liked having the fish, but their deaths? Ugh.

    Such guilt!