When I started, I thought this blogger thing was all about feeling good, making people laugh. But, the more I read, the more I see reality isn't off limits.
And boy do I have reality... Punch-you-in-the-stomach, knock-you-off-your-feet, cry-yourself-to sleep reality.....I'm finding this post hard, because I don't want to disappoint anyone, bring you down. I'm the funny one (well, my family thinks so),...I'm trying really really hard to hold it together, to stay in control.....that's who I am... that's what everyone expects from me.
It's not a perfect world. If it were my cancer wouldn't be back, it wouldn't be raining today and Johnny Depp would be my lover. Not my husband, because well, Prince Charming and I have a history now (most proudly evidenced by our 2 beautiful children). He knows my few, minuscule imperfections and I know ALL of his and, despite them, I kinda like having him around.... besides who wants that pressure of having to look good everyday which I would want to do, naturally, if Johnny were my husband. Although, if it were a perfect world, I would look awesome everyday.... hmmm, I might have to rethink this....
Because the world is not perfect, life isn't always easy but, you take what is dealt you and you carry on, forge ahead...I remember someone telling me that "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle" and, while I immediately regretted being the tough ole' gal that I've been my whole life so he didn't think I could handle quite this much, that thought stuck with me.
I'm going through the stages, the shock, the fear, the sadness...I think about my family, my children, my friends, the laughter, the smiles and the joy and remember that God has also given me a whole lot of wonderful things in my life because he thought I could handle them ............................... and it's because of them, that I AM going to "handle" this!