How did I come to this frightening realization? Well aside from the fact that I am old-ish and a wife.... I heard myself saying something (in that all-knowing, wiser than thou voice), can't even remember exactly what it was because of the sudden brain-numbing trauma caused by this enlightenment (and the failing memory that comes along with the whole "old" and "wife" thing). It had something to do with new shoes on the bed and bad luck.... I actually stated that. As a fact. Out loud. To my son.
It got me thinking. What other hogwash have I been feeding my unsuspecting children that carries no merit or proof ? What unnecessary, untrue superstitions and exaggerations have I cast upon them? What paranoia and lunacy have I literally wrapped up in a pretty package and handed to them marked "Mother Knows
It's one thing to tell them an overweight, bearded man, cheering "Ho, Ho, Ho" of all things, comes down their chimney bearing gifts only if they've been good, but then we expect them to obey when we teach them not to talk to strangers. "But Mom, what if he has presents?" .....
Then a mere three months after the visit by the aged, over-sized elf magically transported by eight tiny reindeer, I find myself carefully forming paw prints out of flour in a path leading to over-flowing baskets of candy which had, as far as my children were concerned, been delivered by a life-size, basket-wielding rabbit.....A HUGE RABBIT for crying out loud!
Let's not forget about the Tooth Fairy who quietly sneaks into your room, late at night, during slumber and carefully
little green leprechauns promising pots of gold at the end of the rainbow;
flying naked babies bearing bow & arrows;
and I don't even know where to begin with Halloween!.....
Frankly, I'm surprised they survived the toddler years!
Then, as if that weren't bad enough, when it wasn't a "holiday" and my "partner's in crime" weren't scaring the bejeezus out of them I would take over.
♫"Step on a crack and break your mother's back."♫I would chant over and over and
Or the old,
"It's bad luck to have a black cat cross your path"And then go out and adopt not one, but TWO black cats! Don't look at me that way!
They weren't all negative, scary, dooming... We also had
"Find a penny, pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck"at which time I would hide pennys around the house for them to find; Several multi-colored rabbits foots, feet?, lucky coins and even horse shoes were often given as gifts.....okay, I'm lying about the horseshoes...but you get my drift...
Despite all the silly mind games and malarkey I fed them, good and evil, my children, now teens, appear to have persevered and flourished!
"Cross your fingers!".
**throwing salt over my left shoulder!**