The Queen's Saga

There once was a man from Nantuck--- ,
no, wait, that's not it.....

A Letter to Myself (a/k/a "The BiPolar Memorandum")

Dear Princess Daughter (clearly I am not yet the  Queen Momma),

     I'm writing this letter to you, umm, me, Us?  from some time in the future...not so that you might change things because I/you/we are a very happy somewhat psychotic mother and trophy wife now and have become the person we are today because of the bumpy path we have traveled and the lucky decisions we have made.

Don't Pet the Sweaty Stuff

Today I am a guest blogger over at Motherhoot!

Please visit me there! :)

(here's the link!)

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

You are my babies still!

This is a poem/letter I wrote to both of my children years ago 
when they told me I "worry to much!"
They are almost 16 and 20 now and it still holds true

Re-Post for Father's Day

I wrote this poem about my father reminding my children not to let anything/one get the best of them!

Summer..you turn me upside down!

I can't believe it! 
It's Summer? 
Already?      
Bu-bu-but (ha! I said butt) (real mature)
That's impossible, it can't be, I  haven't even finished the Spring cleaning yet! ...

Can Chihuahas swim ??

My daughter, DDA, has a fish tank....a 100 gal, 500 lb.  fish tank...and therein lies my reason for this therapy session subject of blog.......

How many times did you do IT this week??

Today I hosted that long-awaited, highly anticipated, much-needed girls luncheon at my home and I have to say I was not disappointed (didn't think I would be)! 

If you had just ONE wish ......what would it be?

I have decided that the over-sized, lion-headed fountain that Prince Charming and I splurged on recently is a Wishing Fountain.   It's my fountain and I can do that!  Who's going to complain? Who wants to argue? 

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake!

I feel the need to remind you that I am sleep deprived and as such should not and cannot be held responsible for, or unfairly judged by,  my irrational, heartless thoughts and actions, hereafter depicted.

Things that go BOOM in the night!

I stuffed cotton in my ears last night and sat in the closet...Really.  No joke.   No, I don't have an ear infection or swimmer's ear and I have not been diagnosed clinically insane (at least not yet)... I just needed an escape, a refuge, SILENCE!

Mangia!

Prince Charming is sick in bed today, Sunday, of Memorial Day weekend.  An apparent case of food poisoning from the 'samplings' at Costco yesterday and by "samplings" I mean "FEAST".

YIKES!

YIKES! ♪ ♫

Haven't blogged in a while...truth is, all that I am woman, hear me roar was bullshit baloney (B-O-L-O-G-N-A) .... I'm scared to death.

Love thumbbuddy!

I promise to never take my thumbs, well more specifically my right thumb, for granted again!

luck be a lady tonight!

I soo should have bet on the Preakness today.... the daring, wild soul that I am, I pretended to; yes, you heard me, I placed a make-believe bet, a middle-aged imaginary adventure.

.......and Johnny Depp would be my lover!

When I started, I thought this blogger thing was all about feeling good, making people laugh.  But, the more I read, the more I see reality isn't off limits.

They're coming to take me away! .... wait, I'll pack my bags!

That's it! The kids think I've  lost it.... they've had their suspicions for a while but apparently now  it's "official" ...

You'll get yours! (a/k/a Paybacks a b-tch)

Roses are red
Violets are blue

The Hat Pack

What would you do without your girlfriends, besides clean your house, save money and be much thinner (and sober).......

Last time I invite you to my party!

One of the esteemed blogger/twitters that I follow, Mommy Wants Vodka (which coincidentally is also one of my favorite chants, substitute Merlot for Vodka) unintentionally caused me severe distress yesterday.

Been there, done that!!

One of the trending topics on twitter today is I am old and boring (#iamoldandboring) ....

Ode to getting older (a/k/a WTF?)

(sung to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star)

Tinkle, tinkle, oh dear god!

It happens when I laugh too hard

It even happens when I fly

something about gravity and the sky

it also happens when I sneeze

someone pass the Depends PLEASE!

I have two teenagers..you don't want to mess with me!

With all the pent up anxiety and stress I'm understandably experiencing this week.....and believing that positive thinking and strong will play a very important part of getting through such situations, I got to thinking....

I slept with one eye open..

I slept with one eye open last night...I think it was that damn article someone posted yesterday about the cat who tried to kill it's human family.....no joke...see for yourself: My Cat Tried to Kill Me!! http://su.pr/30cyfc .  And, as I've mentioned before, I have 3 cats! 

If I was a man this would've been so much whinier!

I'm baaack! ....and, I must admit,  sooner than I expected too!  But I was thinking (for a change), this is the time when I need my friends and cyber-friends.  In fact I can already feel the warmth pouring out of my computer... Oh?  that's just the battery overheating?  Well, I know it's there...

One of My More Serious Moments....Just can't seem to avoid them :/

      !@#$%^& ... Got some unexpected news yesterday which has numbed my entire body, especially my funny bone, and just when I was on a roll (and NO there was no wine involved, this time!)...

Your guess is as good (or bad) as mine!

I started organizing our family photos the other day......trust me, it's not an easy task.....but I was getting worried because my recollection is not what it used to be and I fear that if I wait any longer, I'll be too confused, overwhelmed.

You can't buy happiness?!

Prince Charming (PC)  called in a panic this afternoon..."Holy Sh*t (sweet merciful crap), Sir Bossman is in town and wants to have dinner with the family!"

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ These are a few of my FAV-O-RITE thingsssssssssss........HicCup. :) ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

Husbands with presents and children that listen

Remembering to lift the seat when they're pissing

(sorry but urinating doesn't rhyme)

Tiffany packages, diamonds and rings

These are a few of my favorite things

♪ ♫ cockadoodle- DON'T!

It's 4:22 am....I know that because, aside from the dimly glowing screen on my monitor as I vent type this, the only light for miles (well, at least in my house) is the obnoxiously, illuminated, digital clock with the blazing red numbers, like the eyes of some horrible monster  lurking in the night, that keeps reminding me:

♪ ♫ WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK ♪ ♫ (or better yet, have a glass of wine!)

So, my dishwasher broke, AGAIN....apparently,  unless I WASH the dishes before I put them in the dishWASHER, they don't get clean!!!!  UGH...

"Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen"

Random fact, I know, but it got me thinking......what if I was royalty?

I've got a secret!!!!!

Eureka! Hallelujah! Woot Woot! Hooray! Hot Diggety Dog (a little over the top?) Sorry, can't help it. I believe I have just found the answer to every woman's prayers! 

Of course I meant to do that! Now please..GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL!!

I guess some people might say I'm accident prone, clumsy, blundering, uncoordinated....

How I Spent My Day (a/k/a H♂l y S＃i♀! It's that time already?)

I woke up full of vim and vigor, or was it piss and vinegar?

My supersonic subconscious

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1rV7Lm/www.thechangeblog.com/subconscious-change-your-life/

OMG! Could you imagine the possibilities if this actually worked? 

BoNk ~ BoNk ~ BoNk !!

It was another one of those mornings.....Ah hell, it was just morning, they're all the same...

WHAT If?

If you give the Queen a computer……

                                      She will write a Blog!

COME SEE MY MENAGERIE! (Oh, them? They work for me!)

DDA flew in today and announced “I want a puppy” …. That’s funny and by funny I mean absurd, ridiculous, OUT OF THE QUESTION! ….

Be Warned Because I'm About to Blog, Blob, Ooze......

For as long as I can remember (and believe me, the older I get the less that is), I was a poem writer (aka poet, although that seems to depict lyric and verse.  Mine?, well mine are more like ramblings) …..

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer:  For the purpose of this blog, names have been changed to protect the innocent.  Well, truthfully, to protect me from embarrassment, repercussions, backlash….

    ….. If you like what you read and you think it’s about you, ABSOLUTELY it is! Don’t you just love me, aren’t I the best??  

.... if you don’t like it and you think it’s about you, GET OVER YOURSELF!, why would I write about you anyway??   
[but it probably is ;) ]