Wednesday, September 15, 2010

You wanna know the TRUTH?

(Sung to "oompa loompa from Willy Wonka")

Ooooh Ahhhh Oooooh Ahhh, All that sappy goo
You're expecting a baby, so happy for you!
Ooh Ah Ooh Ah, Ha ha and hee hee
Notice no one mentions the poop and the pee?

What do you get with the birth of baby?
Giggles and cooing and bouncing on knees
Still no one mentions the projectile gook
Or the lack of sleep and its effects on your looks

Ooh Ah Ooh Ah, then come toddler years
Crawling and walking and tantrums with tears
Gates going up and cabinets are locked
My best advice Keep the wine cellar stocked!

Then we move on to the teenager years
driving and cursing and sneaking of beers
That's when they think that they know more than you
But give them time, they will see that's not true

Ooh Ah Ooh Ah now they're young adults
Minimal damage, noone joined a cult
Yes there was screaming and slamming of doors
Hey, if that's what it takes to protect what is yours
Sure there are days you want to pull out your hair
Look for an escape, it doesn't matter where
Dream of the days you were young and alone
Hide in the closet, don't answer the phone

...............oh, that was just me?

Ooh Ah Ooh Ah, But this I'll say is true
It will all be worth it to you
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa
Oompa Loompa doompadee do!!!!!!!


  1. True. All of it. I only know up to the toddler years so far, but I agree. It ain't all fun, quiet, and sweetness here!

  2. It's totally ok that you deleted me like I was some canned meat product or that one cousin that always inappropriately hugs for just a little too long. Really, I am so not hurt by it, and by not hurt by it I mean I have already called my Dr and asked him to increase the vitamin X. So no biggie, I am sure you will claim it was all some accident, sniff, like the time you guys threw raw meat at me after I got voted in as homecoming queen. But I worked through all of it, and no I don't make human skin lampshades or anything, because I can get pretty ones at IKEA. So should you choose to just throw me out AGAIN, like a poor door to door salesmen of magazines no one wants. It's ok. but no this, only a restraining order can keep me from loving this post, this post about oompalumpas singing the woes of parenting.. I will be sitting here waiting to be served.

  3. Okay you got me, I deleted it on purpose but you can't pin the meat flinging incident on me! I cherish my Deviled Ham and Spam too much to waste it on petty cat fights. As for the lampshades I wish I had known you could by them at Ikea of all places; it would have saved me a lot of time and skinning, er, I mean money. I will hold off on the restraining order for the time being... consider this probation ;) {thanks for commenting .... again!}

  4. I'm at the toddler years right now and I'm stocking up on wine. ;) I love your blog and gave you an award. You might have to copy and paste the link.

  5. Elle thanks so much for the award, I'm truly honored! ;)